Triangle love kills

Well, not in the story I'm going to share here, but one bloke got severely wounded with three stabs as a result. Satu tembus liver, satu kena paru-paru, satu lagi di muka, terhiris lidah dia. This is not a fiction story, it's real, it's all over the news in the district tempat saya tinggal. The public is only being told little information about the real story behind the horrible event, sebab melibatkan 3 under age kids. Privacy diorang jaga ketat. How do I get the full story, it's because the victim is Kiddo's 16 year old brother!

It must be only 15 minutes after we dropped him home in front of his granny's house last Thursday when the unfortunate event took place, because we got a text from him not long after that. Ceritanya begini, adik dia ni ada girlfriend. Malangnya girlfriend dia ni sundal sikit kali, sebab pulang rumah diorang, pulang juga rumah lelaki lain. Bila kedapatan, dua lelaki ni pun memanas lah. Biasalah bah orang muda kan, pantang orang bawa bertumbuk, pasti cabaran disahut.

Kisah ni jadi tumpuan sebab si penikam ni pigi confront adik si Kiddo di rumah family diorang. Sebelum pigi, dia pakat dengan brother dia untuk back up, and you know what, MAMA diorang DROVE them pigi tu tempat!! Kedua-dua brothers tu ada pisau, tapi sorang saja yang tikam, sorang lagi tolong wrestle sementara mak diorang tengok dari kereta. Sudah tikam, mak durang bawa speed off lari. Gila kah tidak?

When you see and talk to someone every day, you learn about them. Dari pengamatan saya, si Kiddo ni dari family yang baik. Boleh tahu dari manners dan body language dia. Family dia saya agak very close to each other, sebab selang-selang hari, dia adik beradik (of 6)  pulang rumah nenek diorang. Cousins dia pun kumpul sana juga. Jarang dapat tengok orang putih suka kumpul sama family kalau bukan Christmas. Riuh saja laman rumah nenek dia dengan budak-budak tiap kali kami hantar dia pulang sana. Nasib juga his house and his nana's tidak jauh dari tempat kami. Masa polis, ambulance and helicopter datang, kami boleh dengar dari rumah. Because we pick up and drop him home five days a week, I get to see his family members sometimes. Not officially, just tengok dan lambai dari kereta. I imagine adik-adik dan sepupu-sepupu kecil dia mesti tengah main-main di front lawn and then all of a sudden, they had to helplessly watch itu insiden tikam. Kasihan diorang, tidak pasal-pasal mengalami trauma. Si Kiddo pula, hari ni dia datang kerja dengan baju biasa. Tanya mana uniform dia, dia bilang polis angkat sebab penuh darah. Kiddo panik kali, dia terus buka baju bikin lap adik dia. I don't blame him, siapa tidak panik adik kena tikam.

Ikut cerita, adik dia in and out of comma since Thursday, teruk internal bleeding. Muram saja muka Kiddo hari ni, balik-balik dia cek telefon. Kesian dia. Yang saya menyesaaaal betul ni, macam mana bah hati seorang ibu yang sanggup drive anak pigi tikam anak orang lain? Dia tau kedua-dua anak dia bawa pisau with intention to use them, sebagai ibu, dia fikir dia boleh get away with it just like that kah? Ngeng ong ngeng ong juga kereta polis meraun tempat kami hari tu, mencari diorang kali. Saya baca di news, diorang bertiga pigi serah diri di balai polis malam tu. Semua kena humban pigi lokap n kena charge jenayah. Berita bilang, all are refused bail, tapi Kiddo bilang tadi dua beradik tu sudah keluar kena ikat jamin, tinggal mak diorang saja di lokap. Kotoh noh daa. Rasa lah dia oren di lokap.

Hati orang ni sukar mau teka, kan? Mungkin ketawa lah itu perempuan yang tidur gilir-gilir sama diorang tu. Bangga lah kali mama budak yang ikut hati budak tu. Saya kurang suka judge orang, tapi saya juga kurang suka perlakuan tidak bermoral yang mengakibatkan kecelakaan.

Yang paling tidak syok, hari jadi Kiddo jatuh pada hari Jumaat lepas, the next day after adik dia kena tikam. Family dia excited mau celebrate, sebab dia anak sulung, cucu paling besar nenek dia dan tahun ini cukup 20 umur dia. Bye bye teen age, of course lah Kiddo pun excited! Kami pun plan mo kerja half day saja on his birthday supaya ada masa bawa dia singgah lunch before hantar pulang. Ternyata kita hanya mampu merancang, Tuhan juga yang berkuasa menentukan.

Semoga adik dia selamat.

Memori daun pisang

When I was recovering from the nasty meningitis, I remember having a blurred memory about a few stuff like my birthday, work stuff and postcode of my residential address. My doctor(s) reassured me I will be alright, it's only temporary. OK lah itu, kata saya dalam hati. Kalau doktor yang cakap gitu, mesti lah bah rasa selamat. It's been a month now since I was cleared from meningitis. You'd think oh, she is now fully recovered, back to normal then. Yes, it's true I don't suffer headache anymore ... but what I feel beneath my skin, siapa yang tahu. Meningitis is really a bitch. Ini penyakit kan, bukan macam kena  demam selesma yang kalau sembuh, sembuh lah. Tiada lagi 'ekor-ekor' dia.
 
All these times I used to be able to do simple Maths in my head. Kalau setakat kira hutang orang yang malar meminjam tapi enda pandai membayar, sekejap jak saya jumlahkan dalam kepala. I'm also proud  about not needing a calculator when I do my grocery shopping. I pretty much could add up a near accurate amount of my groceries expenses before reaching the payment counter. Somehow after the meningitis, doing calculations in my head seems to be a struggle. A few weeks ago, I was not worried about it. After all, it was a brain infection that I had, of course I need to allow some times to myself to heal fully. Ah, nanti OK lah bah ini, I told myself every time. 

However, it starts to concern me now that I am not only struggling with my Maths, I struggle to recall important stuff like passwords as well. I never wrote down my passwords, they are all stored in my head. Other important details like my bank accounts, tax file number, business number, passport expiry, Visa and Master cards pun sama, all stored in my head. Wow, you may exclaimed. Bah, mana lagi tempat yang paling selamat mau simpan benda sensitive macam tu? Little did I know one day my memory would play up! Kalau umur sudah lanjut, mungkin saya redha terima kenyataan saya diserang dementia. Tapi saya masih muda. This is hard to swallow.

I was almost reduced to tears today, sebab saya betul-betul tidak dapat recall password CIMB and Maybank saya, no matter how I tried. Ada popped up itu secret questions yang sepatutnya saya tahu jawapannya (sebab saya yang set sendiri), tapi itu pun bikin menangis. One of the question is "Raphael ...?" and I'm like ... the f*** is Raphael? Apa ini, doesn't ring a bell at all! Then ada lagi question "The first movie you watched?" Itu pun saya maki juga, obviously I remembered this in the past, otherwise I won't set it up as my secret question but now ... now memori daun pisang pun tiada dalam kepala saya. Itu nombor akaun kalau tidak ingat tidak apa, telefon saja bank. Tapi kalau Internet password, banyak lagi urusan. If they asked me to reset di ATM, macam mana? Matai nah ini Mak Cik dikejar orang sebab tidak membayar hutang bulanan.

Yang betul, I do notice there are other things that have changed other than my memory since I 'caught' meningitis. Dulu bila saya berus gigi, saya mesti gag tiap hari dengan teruknya sampai keluar air mata part membersihkan lidah. God knows how much I loathe doing it. Kena buat dua kali sehari pula tu? Sejak sembuh dari meningitis, saya tidak lagi gag bila berus sentuh lidah. Berus lah sampai dalam-dalam pigi tekak pun, tiada langsung perasaan. Looking on the positive side, bagus juga lah. Sungguh bersih lidah saya. Tapi hairan juga, what makes my body changes? Jangan-jangan putus sudah itu wayar yang bikin kasi gag saya selama ini.

Selain itu, I noticed my selera makan menurun. Semua makanan nampak yuckie pada saya sejak sakit. Dulu every time kalau nampak udang, biarpun mentah bikin beliur juga. Sekarang tidak lagi. Every week saya pigi shopping groceries, I ended up going home empty handed. Kalau Monkey ada suruh beli untuk dia, itu saja lah yang saya bawa pulang. Stok coklat, keropok, ice cream, biskut dan segala makanan sampah, tidak pandai surut-surut di almari saya. Sampai Monkey tanya what's wrong, kau insaf sudah kah? LOL. Ada lah bah juga saya makan nasi tiap hari, for the sake of keeping healthy. Tapi  saya bingung nih, why can't I enjoy food anymore? Kawan ajak pigi buffet, saya pigi juga. Tapi saya renung saja diorang makan. Sungguh frustrating!

Saya baca di Internet, other people yang kena meningitis lebih teruk lagi. Ada yang sampai kena amputate limbs, hilang ingatan langsung, learn to speak again ... macam-macam lah kesukaran diorang. Kes saya ni kira macam jokes saja kalau banding dengan orang lain. Ikutkan logic, mungkin boleh kira sebagai rahmat lagi. Ya lah, lidah bersih, berat pun terkawal. Bukan rahmat kah itu? Cuma itu memory lah, I wish I didn't have to struggle with it. The other thing is, saya tidak dapat ingat routes. As you may remember, I drive Monkey and Kiddo to work everyday. Kerja kami ni bukan satu tempat saja, we normally go as many as 3 different locations in a day. Kalau maintenance day, drive pigi 10 tempat in a day pun ada. Monkey selalu kasi marah saya sebab saya tidak tau jalan. His arguement is, mustahil ko tidak tau lagi, hari-hari kita pakai ini jalan. Saya mau nangis pun ada, sebab saya sebenarnya betul-betul tidak recognize itu suppose- to-be-my-landmarks. Tiada ter-register di kepala saya. Bila Monkey cakap, tengok bah tu nah kilang, lepas kilang mo take next left sudah. Saya pun, ooo, ya kan, now I remember. Tapi kenapa tidak tidak timbul di fikiran saya sebelum kau sebut aaah, bilang saya.

He has no idea how frustrating it makes me feel. Tau nya kasi marah saya saja. Sedihnya. Macam mana pun saya explain, Monkey tidak percaya. Dia bilang saya sengaja lalai, suka daydream masa driving. Sakitnya hati saya, but what can I do? Pernah sekali tu dia terlelap masa on the way to our second site. Bila dia bangun, kami sudah on the other side of the town yang kami sepatutnya pigi. Berabis dia marah. Buang masa lah. Buang minyak lah. Saya macam mau putus asa, sebab it's not me, it's my memory. It's really frustrating knowing by right I should have information in my head, yet  I can't reach them, let alone use them. I have nothing else to rely on, otak saya saja. Kalau sudah memang tidak berfungsi as how it should be, what can I do? What can I doooooooo??!

Siapa pernah kena meningitis and suffer the similar fate with me, please, pretty please, share your experience with me. I am in a dire need to find a solution to my problems. Please don't ask me to see a doctor, they never had meningitis. They can only help so much, plus it takes a looooooooong time before they fully understand what I'm going through. I need to hear from someone who has first hand experience of what I'm talking about. Pleaseeee?

Waiting for your response...